8 questions to ask yourself if you'd like freedom from your Fear
I created a very interesting journal recently called “Unlearning fear of failure” and while I was creating this journal, I realized that even though fear is daunting and sometimes it can cause so much distress and discomfort in our lives, somehow fear is also looking for a way out. Somewhere the fear that we have within could also somehow be trying to protect us from things that we perceive as harmful. Our minds and hearts may not always be a very good judge of differentiating this feeling of fear but our bodies have a lot of awareness.
When we experience fear, our bodies respond almost instantly and this can be due to negativity bias. Studies (Carpaccio & Berntston, 1999; Vaish et al., 2008; Normal et al., 2011) talk about this bias stemming from the time of evolution of man where the first men, assuming during the stone age, had to survive environmental threats. Hearing a sound or unusual noise would set them on alert and they would prepare themselves even before an imminent threat. Being so conscious about these negative stimuli helped in survival back in the stone age however it slowly made way in our lives as well as we share our DNAs with these early men, our ancestors, so to speak.
If this study is to be taken into account, then fear is also a behaviour that we learn and unlearn from time to time. It depends on the negative stimuli that we either face or assume is to come. Our brains are wired to attract to fear more easily. It activates within us what is called as a fight, flight or freeze response. Upon facing this fear, we either try to understand it and challenge it (do it anyway) or we turn away and step down. It’s also interesting to note that this response is not just emotional or mental but also physical. Certain neurotransmitters are responsible which are released during our bodies stress response. Perhaps the reason you experience an increased heartbeat, lump in the throat, sweaty palms or body, excessive heat, icy fingertips, feeling of puking, excessive anger/rage etc.,
Fear can be difficult to pin down as just one thing. Fear can lead to many emotions and thoughts such as and everyone experiences fear in different ways and for different reasons.
Fear of Judgement
Fear of Love
Fear of Loss
Fear of Uncertainty
Fear of the past
Fear of the future
Fear of failure
Fear of success
Fear of shame
Fear of Comparison
Fear of Rejection
Just to name a few…
It’s quite common for my clients to tell me they would like to free themselves from fear. But fear is not something you can simply get rid of in my opinion. Fear needs to be understood and dealt with very gently and carefully. There is a way to calm the nerves and eventually navigate through the feeling of fear in order to take the next step, to do what you desire, overcome challenges.
Some ways to deal with this fear is –
The mindfulness techniques of breathing, meditation etc.,
Becoming self-aware of your emotions and negative chatter/pattern
Re-framing the mindset
Positivity techniques of gratitude, affirmations etc.,
One of the techniques that seem to combine it all is the writing therapy also known as Journaling. It’s one of the most pleasant forms of becoming self-aware, bringing in positivity, being mindful as well as re-framing thoughts.
Here are some Journal Prompts that you can spend time with. I’ve used this for a few clients who wanted to understand their fear, and it seemed to help them understand fear a bit more deeply and allowed them to notice certain patterns that also tend to increase their fears.
I hope this will also benefit you. Give it sometime if you can’t work on it right away or if the answers don’t come right away. Come back to it and let your answers flow.
What according to you is the fear that holds you back?
Why do you think you’ve been holding onto this fear?
Where do you think this fear has come from, the cause?
In what way can you face this fear?
Why has this feeling of fear come right now?
What is this fear trying to teach you?
What words of encouragement do you need?
What strengths should you rely on, in order to face this fear?
Thank you for stopping by. If you like this article or find it helpful it would mean a lot to me if you could like the heart or leave a comment, it always helps with visibility. And if you’re interested in working on your patterns of fear, I’d like to encourage you to join my 1:1 mentorship